dagong dictionary:
from yehey.com
.......
Contemplate - kulang ang mga pinggan
Punctuation - pera para maka-enrol
Ice Buko - nagtatanong kung ayos na ang buhok
Tenacious - sapatos na pang tennis
Calculator - tawagan kita mamaya
Devastation - sakayan ng bus
Protestant - Tindahan ng prutas
Statue - Ikaw ba yan?
Tissue - Ikaw nga!
Predicate - Pakawalan mo ang pusa
Dedicated - Pinatay ang pusa
Aspect - Pantusok o pandurog ng yelo
Deduct - Ang pato
Defeat - Ang paa (ng pato?)
Detail - Ang buntot (ng pato?)
Deposit - Gripo (Call DIPLOMA if DEPOSIT is leaking)
City - Bago mag-utso; A number to follow 6
Cattle - Doon nakatila ang Hali at Leyna
Persuading - Unang Kasal
Depress - Ang nagkasal sa PERSUADING
Defense - Ginamit ng mga pangsulat sa kontrata sa PERSUADING
It depends - Kainin mo ang bakod
Shampoo - Bago mag-labing-isha (11)
Delusion - Maluwang (kapag maluwang ang damit, eh DELUSION)
Delivery - Walang bayad. Kapag working lunch, eh DELIVERY na ang tanghalian
Profit - Patunayan mo
Balance Sheet - What comes out after eating a balance diet
Backlog - bacon saka egg
Beehive - magpakatino ka
CD-ROM - tingnan mo ang kwarto
Debug - ang ipis
Defrag - ang palaka
Defense - ang bakod
Defer - ang balahibo
Deflate - ang plato
Detest - ang eksamin
Devalue - 'yon ang susunod sa letrang V
Devote - ang boto
Dilemma - brownout!, a!
Effort - 'dun nagla-land ang efflane
Forums - apat na kwarto
July - nagsinungaling ka ba?
Thesis - ito ay...
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ito i found these funny...
still from yehey.com
http://www.yehey.com/funnypages/articles.aspx?id=55175
Boyfriend to Girlfriend, may LQ: What do you take me for?! Granted?
***
Guard, answering the telephone: Hello?... Ah yes, for a while. Please hang yourself.
***
Starlet in an interview: If the odds are against me, then I will against them.
***
Inday Badiday asks a starlet about her mother's burial:
Inday: Kumusta ang libing ng nanay mo?
Starlet: Successful naman po.
***
Army officer to cadet:
Officer: "Do you know why I ask you to stand?"
Cadet: "No, sir."
Officer: "Ok, why?" (anlabo!)
***
Teacher to students: Baka gusto nyong ibilad ko kayo sa covered courts.
***
Teacher: Class, I want you to watch sex scenes.
Class: What Teacher!???
Teacher: What's wrong? It's a beautiful film starring Bros Welles! (Bruce Willis)
Class: Aah, Sixth Sense!
***
Sa isang examination:
Student: Mam, pwedeng gumamit ng liquid paper?
Teacher: Ang kulit naman! Sinabi nang pad paper lang eh.
***
A reporter interviews a politician about the Philippine economy.
Politician says: Talagang mahirap ang buhay natin ngayon. Pero slow by slow, we will success.
***
Teacher: Sorry, class. I'm late. My mother died three years ago. And now she's dead. (Ano daw?!)
***
Heard in a fastfood chain:
Yaya: Ma'm, gosto po ni Mark ng KIDNEY MEAL!
***
Teacher: What is ur name?
Student: Dell.
Teacher: What is ur old? (maybe she meant how old are you?)
***
In a restaurant:
Waiter: Sir, How do you want your egg?
Customer: Side in, side out.
***
Mom interviews her daughter's suitor:
Mom: What's your course?
Suitor: Geo po (for geology).
Mom:! Ahhh... Geo-rnalism. Ok yan. (ok nga!)
***
Guy to Girl: I love you. This is not a ball. ("Hindi ito bola" in English)
***
Pedro: Galing
ako sa doktor, nakabili nako ng hearing aid. Grabe!
ang linaw na ng pandinig ko!
Juan: Talaga?! Magkano bili mo?
Pedro: Kahapon lang.
-->
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anothe one:
http://www.yehey.com/funnypages/articles.aspx?id=51155
1. Aspect - pantusok ng yelo
2. Backlog - bacon saka egg
3. Beehive - magpakatino ka
4. CD-Rom - tingnan mo ang kwarto
5. City - bago mag-utso
6. Cattle - doon nakatila ang hali at leyna
7. Debug - ang ipis
8. Dedicated - pinatay ang pusa
9. Deduct - ang pato
10. Defeat - ang paa
11. Defense - ang bakod
12. Defer - ang balahibo
13. Deflate - ang plato
14. Defrag - ang palaka
15. Delusion - e di maluwag
16. Depends - (see defense)
17. Deposit - ang gripo
18. Depress - nagkasal sa persuading (see persuading)
19. Detail - ang buntot
20. Detest - ang eksamin
21. Devalue - ‘yon ang susunod sa letrang ‘V’
22. Devastation - ‘dun sasakay ng bus
23. Devote - ang boto
24. Dilemma - brownout, a!
25. Effort - ‘dun nagla-land ang efflane
26. Forums - apat na kwarto
27. It depends - kainin mo ang bakod
28. July - nagsinungaling ka ba?
29. Statue - ikaw ba ‘yan?
30. Protestant - tindahan ng prutas.
31. Predicate - pakawalan mo ang pusa
32. Profit - patunayan mo
33. Persuading - unang kasal
34. Tenacious - sinusuot sa paa
35. Thesis - ito ay
36. Torpedo - takot manligaw
37. Zoology - ang sayans ng pagtatahi